the rules of the bed are very simple
- you are given a body and a window.
everything is made difficult
- but you get participation prizes.
the aim is to find yourself
- hint: look between your fingers.
How much can you not say anything
before grief becomes a paragraph?
Before paragraphs become holes
in you with blood exiting them -
when will the wounds form?
A body can grow around a splinter,
but planks don't apologise,
and dust squats in lungs apologising
until you are left with nothing but your age and air
- nothing should impede growth.
Within my ribs a mountain stands, peeks and
squints at the outside. He knows he fills the cracks
in me. I mourn the days when I could breathe.
Some grand view will crown the heights and one day
I will see.
the rules of the bed are very simple
- you are given a body and a window.
everything is made difficult
- but you get participation prizes.
the aim is to find yourself
- hint: look between your fingers.
Within my ribs a mountain stands, peeks and
squints at the outside. He knows he fills the cracks
in me. I mourn the days when I could breathe.
Some grand view will crown the heights and one day
I will see.
The moment thickens,
the door is heavy.
There is nothing between you and I.
The morning rolls over,
I am solitary.
There is nothing between you and I.
I practise breathing,
the air shuts.
There is nothing between you and I.
Streets become monologues,
no one talks.
There is nothing between you and I.
Music is there,
smoke arrives.
There is nothing between you and I.
I see your figure,
you have no eyes.
There is nothing between you and I.
Cutting you out,
I colour you in.
There is nothing between you and I.
Made like a bed,
I feel you are thin.
There is nothing between you and I.
Words fly out the holes,
I hold you in my teeth.
i. Apogee
Make light -
cast it on your face like a spell.
You tell me things
- murmur and crackle.
You are another station
beyond the fuzz of this city
and science.
Appreciate roads
how far they run
and
what they touch.
Step into the firmament
- please
on steps of shade
and eyes
staring at the poor earth.
ii. Perigee
Walk with purpose
towards
anything.
A magnet has come to town.
Breathe on me -
turn to face your halo.
Shimmer.
Your arms on my back,
chest to chest,
yours on yours.
Watch the hands on the clock
stroke.
Frame pieces of me with your hands.
Times bend to you.
I'm slipping -
hold on.
Foxing about like
fire
and
sugar
going out the shops together.
Rounding corners
with
a smile
and
a list
drinking to yourself.
Knowing everyone
with
glances
and
a shrug
making yourself special.
I can't walk happily
with a shadow behind me
when I'm all-knowing
that this will be
another ending
eventually
I remember fondly when I used to think spiders could fly.
Because in a sunlit classroom - you can hardly see their silk
wafting behind them out of their rear.
Instead I used to concentrate on why spiders would fly
and where they were going.
I don't do things
not anything
not with my fingers
or feet
now I am using
constantly
God, I remember looking at my great aunt hilda's grave,
in amongst the red valerian, the ivyleafed toadflax on the wall,
those brown butterflies -
and I used to wonder quite often how they managed to fit her i
I realise I am yellow.
I have pink,
underneath the layers.
But I have more ache.
As I bring my fingers together
I realise it has been hours.
My eyes ache at nothing,
Reluctantly opened like stuck pliers.
Water is taken,
but the blanket remains.
A body made leaden,
locomotion in clicks.
The window is opened,
obligingly.
Sitting on my hand
is the air, gnawing.
The air waits
as my knuckles do.
As I stand up with weight -
and this air feels new.
They said they needed me.
With a plush swoosh I was opened.
A collection of thin metal, freed.
Both taut and plump, I blossomed.
What is it to be needed?
Crowds became hot, inflated.
Rain felt too warm, naked.
Feelings inspected, traded.
Need runs off of me.
A world bevelled again, now.
Collected, I close the scene.
Accepting of being carried around.
The door mat is crunchy -
This movement is difficult.
The tongue is a hallway -
One I can taste.
There are no windows on the hallway.
There are neighbours opposite.
The throat moves -
I hate every second of it.
I performed these last night, heres the youtube link, I hope you guys enjoy them <3 I loved the response to the last one I shared with you guys, its a shame theres no more direct way to share these with you on here because I love sharing my writing with you guys and this is a newish medium for me and support in this area would be really appreciated. But anyway! Here it is <3
For years I listened
to the busy chatter, talk
of a Charlie, Oscar
David or Edward. Their names
echoed through a single speaker,
riddled with particles of dust
I never tried to clean.
A black metal box
whose dial never moved,
my father’s static lifeline
to a city outside of a country road.
It became my background
noise, a spoken coded broadcast
meant for special ears, not mine.
Still, I listened
to a dispatcher who skipped the obligatory
Hello, how are you doing, to police
who spoke of people and problems in names
and numbers, to emergency personnel
who rushed from place to place
without the chance to ever look back.
And I heard
the
Hello - I’m Phis. I'm a poet of sorts, but I also love to get crafty now and again. I'm a uni student studying religion and creative writing, currently recovering from a severe anxiety disorder and chronic depression.
Mainly my poetry is about my mental health, my disabilities, my relationships, my pantheism, animism and witchery as well as other fun things like that. I aim to be an honest and enjoyable person to be around.
I try to comment on 5-50 poems a day, sometimes I just lurk because I have a lot of health issues which mean I can't do much more than stare at a screen some days.
Phisisturae is a nonsense word I made up because it looked very pretty. I've decided its an noun that describes the act of something very mundane catching your eye in a very extraordinary way, the profound appreciation of sundry objects and phenomena (Fih-cyst-tour-eye).
Favourite Movies
Anything Aardman, Hot fuzz, Pacific rim.
Favourite Books
Norton Juster - the Phantom Tollbooth, Cat Weatherhill - Snowbone, The Wizard of Oz - L. Frank Baum.